Learning Self Awareness (Essential For Any Leader)

Self Awareness is an often forgotten about trait that holds back many leaders and potential leaders. Before you can actively pursue your dreams, you need to be able to objectively look at what you are and what you're NOT good at.

Only those with high self awareness can take their careers, life and relationships to the next level.



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Full Transcription Below

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Learn Share Grow live with Hayden Wilson.

This is Episode 13 and today we’re talking all about developing your own self awareness and this is something that I think a lot of people need to work on and I’m saying that from a realistic point of view as we’re going to find out in this video where we’re going to find out what is actually real versus what we feel, or emotions.

Basically the premise behind self awareness is that everyone sees themselves in a certain way or from their own point of view. There are two selfs – the way you see yourself and then we’ve got the actual reality.

Our goal is to merge these two people, what you perceive yourself as and the actual reality - our goal is to make that into one. Now the hard thing about it, and the reason why most people struggle with self awareness, it is uncomfortable when you get feelings, it’s scary, you’re in a vulnerable position when you’re in this growth area.

A ton of people, 90% of people as I’ve been saying all week, will sit in this comfort zone. To grow, you need to be out in this growth area and that’s scary, you feel vulnerable, you feel exposed, you feel weak.

There are a ton of different things, strategies that we can work on to turn these weaknesses into strengths. So the first thing that I want you to do is take a good hard look at yourself and write a list of things that you are good at. And then we’re going to write a list that we’re not so good at.

Having this realistic view is going to help put everything into perspective and help us decide what we actually need to work on to get better because that is the end goal.

A lot of people may be scared or frustrated at this process but you don’t need to be because in the end, what you’re trying to do is improve yourself. Just say you’re good at having high confidence, you’re a quite positive person, you’re quite organised, you’re talented and you’re trustworthy.

While on the opposite side of the spectrum you’re trying to achieve a task and you realise that there are specific actions that need to be taken inside of that and you might realise that maybe you’re not that good at communicating, or you’re not that good at sales, or empathy and your listening skills aren’t that top notch.

The hardest thing that is going to be possible for you is to just realise this. As soon as you can realise what you’re not good at we can start to put in practices that make you better. In communication, there are a ton of books I can recommend on becoming a better communicator.

Sales courses, sales seminars, online material – there’s so much stuff that you can work on yourself to get better at sales. Empathy – listening, actively listening in a conversation rather than just waiting for your turn to speak – there is a lot of material on both these items, both empathy and listening that I can share with you to improve these skills. I’ve got a couple of strategies here that I want to share with you to improve your self awareness.

One that I’ve been practising is reflective journaling. So each morning I’ll get up and it sounds a bit 'woo woo' but this is just the process and it’s worked wonders with me and others who I’ve recommended it to, is that you reflect back on your day yesterday – what were your struggles, what do you need help with, what were your frustrations.

You write them out and you start thinking about them, and then you start to identify the weaknesses that come with that. If we were on the phone and we couldn’t close a phone sale, then we can write that down – I was frustrated, why didn’t I close the sale, keep asking yourself the question why, dig deeper. Why didn’t I close the sale – oh, because I’m not confident on the phone – okay, cool. Now that we know that communication and confidence might be an issue let’s then start to put in practices to make ourselves better with confidence and a better communicator. I also want you to not forget that a lot of our decisions are based around avoidance and not doing the hard work because to be honest, this is the hard stuff, this is the stuff that 90% of people don’t want to do. They don’t want to admit that they have low communication skills or that they’re bad at sales, and that’s why they’ll always sit down here, but if you want to elevate yourself, the best thing you can do, is get better at what you’re bad at.

Another thing you need to do is to remove your ego. I’ve always found that the best strategy for this is to always just continuously ask yourself - what’s the reality? I got this from Brian Tracey, in one of his audio programs he’s constantly asking himself what is the reality? because it doesn’t matter what you feel or what you think, if you look at it objectively, take all that stuff out of it, and look at the statistics or data, and objectively take a look at it. Yep, this is the reality, I’m bad at this and these are the steps I can implement to get better at it.

The third thing that you can do, is to constantly seek feedback and this is a big one because there are lot of precious people, and I say that with the utmost respect, because I used to be scared of feedback but when you realise the feedback is coming from a place of love and you’re asking the right people that do see you in both high stress situations and your normal life situations.

When you ask them for constructive criticism and areas that we need to work on and throw in a couple of things that you’re quite good at, they can use that sort of sandwich approach, you can start to achieve a much better result and build that self awareness of how other people see you. You can start to realise that this person, sorry my connection keeps weakening, so if I cut out I apologise, but just constantly seek feedback, ask friends, family, people you have worked with previously or you’re going to work with, ask them how they’re feeling and what they perceive of you so far.

So I hope this helps. If there are any questions or the audio has been a bit hazy on this video just let me know and I’ll re-record part of it, but other than that, if you can develop your own self awareness you’re light years ahead of many, many people.

Thanks for watching and good luck.

Any questions, haydenwilson.com.au.