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4 Ways to Live More Whole-Heartedly (trust me it's way more fun)

In this episode I share with you four 'grate' strategies to help you become more grateful. I honestly didn't know the power of gratitude until one of my mentors showed me. It wasn't until I started to write down what I was grateful for that I fully appreciated what I have.

Now I can write down 200 different items that I'm grateful for in my life and it has really opened my eyes.

It's an exercise that you might like to try among others that I share in this video.

Enjoy


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHjNPHkOvFg


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/4-ways-to-live-more-whole-heartedly-trust-me-its-way-more-fun


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hayden Wilson here for Learn Share Grow live. We’ve got a great video here today and it’s all about whole heartedly living.

A few years ago, or even 12 months ago, if you had told me I was going to make a video on this I would probably have laughed because I really didn’t believe in any of this stuff. I was all about just working harder and getting things done. But as I’ve researched more and learned more about myself and what you can achieve, and helping other people get the same results, it’s really opened up my eyes so I’ve got four things that I’m going to share with you here today to start to live more whole heartedly and have more fun and start to enjoy life a little bit more. There is a time for work, but there’s also a time to play – a few of the things I’m going to go over today.

The first thing that I want you to do and this is – these are the activities from numerous studies over years and decades – of people who are whole heartedly enjoy and participate in. This is how they live their lives day-to-day. It’s not that they don’t do the other stuff but this is a good guide for what you can do. So the first thing to do is to get creative. What we know about creativity is – a lot of people have what we call creativity scars. When you were younger, quite honesty, there’s an 85% chance that you had someone who put down your creative work and that meant that you no longer perceived yourself as a creative person. I can tell that from experience, I had this and I never thought I was a creative person. But I look into my history now and what we know about creativity is that it doesn’t go away. It’s not like, if you don’t use it all of a sudden it’s fine. It builds up, and builds up, and builds up until we have to, we must release it in a creative way. So by not having those frustrations and letting it out and living the way that we want to live – drawing and maybe writing a story, writing a song, or dancing – which we’ll get into - but there are all these different ways to be creative. Thinking, brainstorming and all these different fantastic ideas and how powerful the human mind is that we can start to release. I want you to get a little bit creative and think of a few different ways – and even chuck them in the comments – on how you’re going to be creative in your life and start to live in a creative way.

The second thing that you need to do is sing, laugh and dance a bit more. You’ve been to weddings and to situations where dancing or singing is appropriate. I can guarantee how much more fun it is, whether you’re up there being silly, or making a mockery of yourself, but really just enjoying yourself, I can guarantee you it’s 10 times more fun. So I really want you participating in singing and dancing more with your family or your loved ones and just letting go of trying to be cool and really embracing and having a good time because we all know that when you do that it’s a lot better.

The third thing that you can try is to start to play more. When we look at what play is it’s when you’re not keeping a track on time, you’re not keeping a track of a score, and you just lose yourself in the moment which is often called flow as well. Really just enjoy what you’re doing. A lot of the time, I’ve found that play to me doesn’t involve money. For me it’s a lot of riding around on my bike and talking to people and visiting cafes, doing stuff that I really love doing and connecting with people. Making these videos is play for me. Researching and reading, that’s play for me, it doesn’t take effort, it doesn’t take a huge amount of will power to read a book. For me, that’s play, that’s enjoyment. I want you to find out for you, what you find is play. That might be having a round of golf or playing tennis or going to the gym which is very popular or maybe it’s just curling up with a book and spending some time by yourself, or watching your favourite TV shows. All these things, as long as you’re not keeping track of time, these are great activities to participate in. Participate in, and stop seeing productivity as self worth. If you don’t get something done you’re all of a sudden down in the dumps – that’s how I used to think – if I didn’t get these 30 items on my check list done, and that’s honestly how many stupidly large check lists I used to have – and if I didn’t get them all done I didn’t feel worthy of sleeping or watching the TV show or doing something in my life. So I really want you to take a leaf out of my book and learn from my mistakes and just start to play more.

The last thing we’ve got is to just be authentic. I know this is quite a buzz word right now and that’s why I’m trying to bring in and I’ll coin the term, genuinely authentic, genuine authenticity. So when you are being your true self and being who you truly are, life becomes so much easier. There are certain situations that I can remember how I used to try and fit in. The problem with when you try and fit in and it’s not really yourself, is if in that situation you’re not accepted you see that as shaming and you think that you don’t belong and that there’s something wrong with you. Whereas if you are authentic and you go into a new group situation and you might not be accepted, you think well look, that’s all that I can do, I’m being myself, what more can I do. The answer is nothing. So you just need to find other people, there are so many different groups and people and activities that we can perform, you don’t necessarily need to be friends with this group of people or participate in this activity, you don’t need to have these businesses or do this at work, if that’s not really who you are. So really make a conscious effort on being authentic, who are you really and who do you want to be – let that person shine and bring yourself out. Trust me, it’s so much easier being authentic. You’re seeing my authentic self producing these videos, it’s a creative thing that I like to do and a play thing, so it’s embracing all these different elements of whole hearted living. I want you to try and embrace that within your life.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions, jump over to haydenwilson.com.au. Thanks for watching Learn Share Grow live. I’ll catch you next week. Ciao.

Who are you Marble Jar Friends? (Trust is Earned, Not Given)

In this episode I talk about a great concept of Brene Brown's work that really resonated with me: The Marble Jar Friend concept. Too often we throw ourselves into a new friendship only to find that person breaches our trust. This ends up with us becoming burned and less likely to trust again (thus shutting out everyone, not just the bad people).

In this video I show you how to not only minimize that from happening, but all share with you a couple of strategies you can use to show your current 'marble jar friends'

Enjoy and learn more: http://haydenwilson.com.au


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5wl6oZ6mrc


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/who-are-you-marble-jar-friends-trust-is-earned-not-given


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below

Hey guys, Hayden Wilson here – I hope it’s not too noisy, I don’t have my microphone with me. I was in Richmond having a coffee and something to eat and I wanted to shoot this video on the beautiful Yarra – look at that view with the city over there – so thank you for joining me here today and on Learn Share Grow today we’re going to be talking all about what’s called ‘Marble Jar Friends’.

This is again a concept by Brene Brown and she talks about her daughter Ellen and how she had a teacher who had this concept called the marble jar. When the children exhibited good behaviour collectively, the teacher would put a marble in the jar, and when they were bad students collectively, a marble got taken out. It’s a lot like, if you think about it, bank deposits and credits coming in and out.

This is a lot like trust. I’m sure that you’ve had situations in your life where someone has breached that trust – I know we all have these scars, but you really do need to be careful on who you trust with the information that you share. We know that in order for your story to be received in an empathic way and for you to be able to trust someone, there needs to be that element of trust and that needs to be earned. The way it is earned is with these metaphorical marbles.

So each time someone does something that agrees with your values you drop a marble into the jar. When someone does something that you don’t agree with such as lying, or gossiping, or spreading rumours about you, then obviously that means the marbles are coming out. So when you get a new friend you have to be really careful with what information you tell them and how close you let them in because if we do over share or someone over shares with us, you know that there’s not a level of trust and there’s no empathy to be able to respond to those stories unless you already have some of that empathy and that trust credit in the bank.

So I want you to have a think about who your marble jar friends are. These are the kinds of people who know your parents’ names, they know what you actually do for a living – so many people out there don’t actually know what their friends do. They might have a blanket statement that they work in an office, but your true friends, and I’m not talking a large amount, I personally have only two or three really close friends and I hold them close to my heart and they know who they are, but these are the kind of people who have been with me for years and they know pretty much everything about me and these are the people that I can trust. They call when I’m sick, they call when they’re worried about me or if I post something that might be negative in their eyes and they think I might be upset they call me and ask me what’s wrong and these are the type of people I can tell anything to because we’ve built up that trust and we have that level, the marbles are in the jar.

So have a think about who your marble jar friends are and what they do for you and what you can do in return for them. To have good friends you need to be a good friend. So think about some ways that you really appreciate that person and send them a message, write them a note, draw them a picture as I mentioned in yesterday’s video. All these little things can help build trust and build the friendship. By doing this, you’re going to find that you can really open up to that person, they are willing to hear your story, you can share more with them, but just be very careful with who you let inside your circle of trust because as you know, and many of us have been burned before, you just need to be very careful because they can breach that trust. So look for marble jar friends, I know you’ve got some, and hold them dear to your heart because they are one of a kind.

Catch you next time for Learn Share Grow.

The Act of Practicing Gratitude (3 Simple, yet Powerful Ways)

In this episode I taker you through 3 very simple ways that you can practice gratitude and start to live more whole heatedly. Gratitude is a HUGE part of becoming happy again and I found that just by keeping a journal I not only started to look for opportunities to be grateful but these things started to find me.

Enjoy and Learn More: http://haydenwilson.com.au


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdRmUPZjmVo


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/the-act-of-practicing-gratitude-3-simple-yet-powerful-ways


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hayden Wilson here for Learn Share Grow live. Today I have a great episode which is all about the practice of gratitude. Let me tell you straight off the bat, becoming a more grateful person has helped my happiness levels and everyone who has been surveyed and asked if they are a whole hearted person and if they enjoy life and if they’re happy, they practice this attitude of gratitude.

I know it’s a bit airy fairy and it’s been publicised and maybe a bit butchered by different people but I can tell you from personal experience that by practising some of the stuff that I will show you today, you’re going to become a lot more aware of the great things in life that people are doing for you that may have previously gone unnoticed. It’s not by any fault of your own, it’s just that you didn’t have that level of awareness.

The reason that we want to practice gratitude is to be a more whole hearted person and you’ll find that when you do start practising these different techniques that I’m going to show you, not only are you going to start appreciating the things that were maybe getting lost or left behind, but you will also start seeking other ways that you can start helping people and living a life that’s congruent with your values and helping others in the process.

The first thing is to have a gratitude journal. I have one and it has helped greatly. Every morning, and you can do this at night time if you like, but every morning I’ll get up – and I’ve got it here today, I bought this for $4 or $5 from Target – and I’ll just write. This particular day I was feeling pretty ambitious and I’ve got 10 items here. I’ll just read out a couple because they could be relevant and these are the kind of ideas that you might like to put in there. Honestly, I just put anything, anything that I’m grateful for. So I’ve got here, the calm app for having beautiful, soothing rain noises. I’ve also got the staff at Lux for great service and friendliness – it’s a great cafe in Brunswick. I’ve got Charles Duhigg for a book that he wrote and another one is for the beautiful coffee that I’m currently drinking. These are the types of things that you can put in your gratitude journal. You’ll then start to notice a ton of different stuff within your life that you’ll really start appreciating and that’s going to make you a lot happier and give you a sense of appreciation for things that you wouldn’t normally appreciate.

The second thing that you might like to do to increase your gratitude is to story tell. It might be at the dinner table, it might be before bed with a loved one – just tell people what you really think of them and what you’re grateful for, and again, having that attitude within your life is really going to help yourself and others to become more aware. All we’re trying to do, and I know mindfulness tends to be a buzzword right now, but that’s exactly what we’re doing, we’re becoming more mindful of what we can appreciate and the different elements of our life. So story telling is a terrific way.

The third one that I’ve got here is to write a letter, or the other thing that you might like to do is draw a picture. To give you an example, I think it goes back about eight years ago I was in this phase where I bought some crayons and I wanted to draw pictures for people of experiences and different parts of our lives that we really enjoyed. One was with my friend Sean. We used to play downball at school and so I used to draw these pictures. One particular picture was Sean and I playing downball or four square, whatever you want to call it. This was a great time in our lives and there were less responsibilities than now, but just by drawing this picture and paying attention to specific details such as a particular hat that he used to wear or the shoes that I would wear. By making these little differences, these little things noticed, you’re just drawing a picture and you don’t really know what it could mean to someone, but when I presented it to him, he’s carried that – and I saw it in his house the other week – he’s carried it for maybe six or seven different moves so you can tell how much Sean really appreciates this picture because that was the gratitude, that’s what it meant to me, those times of what it meant to me, really meant something to him and us as friends. This is the type of thing, you can draw a picture for someone – not only are you being creative, but you’re also showcasing what you like to do and what the friendship means to you. If you aren’t graphically inclined, and don’t get me wrong – I’m definitely not, but I tried my best so whatever – you might like to write a letter and express some gratitude for the thing or things that you like about that person, or behaviours, or a funny story, or time that you spent together that you’re really grateful for. Just by doing this is going to raise your awareness, your brain will start to seek and oscillate towards and find new opportunities to become grateful. I’ve found that this has been a game changer for me so I want you to start being more mindful, think about the different gratitude practices that you like to do. I want you to grab a journal, pick up a journal from Office Works, Target, K-Mart, the newsagent or the post office, whatever – grab a journal and start writing in it every single day, 5 of 10 gratefuls or as many you can think of, and you’re going to find that this is really going to help.

Let me know if you have any questions, otherwise jump over to hayenwilson.com.au. This has been Learn Share Grow. Catch you next time.

3 Common Shields We Use to Try and Protect Ourselves

In this episode I delve further into Brene Brown's work on Vulnerability and some of the shields that we put up in order to try and protect ourselves. The big three are: 1. Foreboding Joy 2. Perfectionism 3. Numbing

What we don't realise is that these shields stop us from living and loving wholeheartedly. While we have these up, we cannot live to our fullest. I know this more than anyone after living for 3 years and never allowing myself to watch a TV show, or a movie, because I was scared I was missing out.

And although those 3 years provided a lot of learning, they came with a fair share of heart-ache. But what is done is done, and now it's time to move on.

I encourage you to watch this video if you are currently struggling and think that you are shutting people off with the big three.

In this video I share with you some strategies to start embracing your heart and living congruently.

Enjoy and to learn more: http://haydenwilson.com.au


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP7l2ivKOko


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/the-3-vulnerability-shields-we-use-to-protect-ourselves


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hayden Wilson here for Learn Share Grow live. I’ve got an awesome video here for you today in Vulnerability Week. This is all about the common shields that we put up – there’s a lot of research here, again done by Brene Brown – and this is a video that you’re going to resonate with and enjoy. I will ask you, if it does resonate, please share it with someone that you think is using some of these common shields to block things out in an attempt to make sure that nothing will hurt you or hurt them. Once I take you through this data and this knowledge and these strategies, you can learn to open up a little bit more and become the person that you want to be and start enjoying your life more because you’re not holding onto things and putting up that wall. A wall can stop you from being hurt but it also stops good things from coming in. This is what we’re going to be going through today.

The first shield that people put up is foreboding joy. They have the expectation or the view that they can start to enjoy something after this is complete. I’m telling you from personal experience that this is not a good place to come from because there’s always something more to do, there’s always something else that you want to do before you can start to enjoy it. From the data that Brene has gone over during the last 13 years, she has found that if there are 100 people in a room one in three or 33% of those people will receive a serious call where something really serious has happened, a trauma situation, like someone has died or someone they know has been in an accident or raped, or horrible situations. So one in three people watching this has had that phone call and they will tell you that nothing can prepare you for what that person is going to say, or how you can react to that phone call. Nothing can prepare you. What we do know is, if that’s the reality and you can’t prepare, why do we go over these stories in our head, why do we try to prepare for what might happen because that’s uncertain. The only certainty we have, and I know this sounds a bit out there, but the only certainty we have is right now. What’s happening now, let’s enjoy it right now, in the moment for what it is. Rather than hoping for something like ‘I’ll be successful when . . . ‘ how many times have you heard that? or told yourself that – I know I did ‘I’ll be successful when I have X amount of dollars in the bank’ or ‘I’ll be successful when I’ve travelled to these different countries’ or ‘I’ll be successful when I have this many friends, or this many appointments in my diary, or this many clients, or this many websites’, or whatever it is for you. Please understand that you don’t need to wait til a certain point, we can enjoy things now.

The second thing that a lot of people struggle with and they put up that shield, is with perfectionism. Always wanting, and sitting on things for days or weeks, months or years, because we’re too afraid of what people might think. The biggest thing here is, you can try to be as perfect as possible, but I guarantee you that nothing in the entire world is going to stop you from being judged. That is what happens. People judge when they feel deficient in a certain area themselves. They judge and place those judgements on you. I guarantee you, even if you are perfect, you’re striving for perfection, you believe you fit it, other people out there will be saying ‘they’re too perfect’. It doesn’t matter. There is always going to be someone else out there who is jealous of what you are achieving. So even if you are perfect you can’t stop judgement. The only way to stop judgement is to be nothing, do nothing, say nothing, in general, don’t put yourself out there, don’t be anything. But I’m telling you, that’s not going to be an enjoyable way to live. So don’t strive for perfection, just strive for healthy growth. Strive to be better than you were the day before, the week before because if you’re going for perfection, I can guarantee you’re not going to hit it because it’s this impossible ladder and even if we do get to a point of ‘I’ll be happy . . . ‘, back to the first foreboding joy, ‘I’ll be happy when I get here’, ‘I’ll be happy when things are perfect’, something else will come up and then something else will come up, so we’ll never really hit this pot of gold that we seem to call perfection.

The third shield that we put up is numbing. We go from one thing to the next, this is what numbing is, it’s taking something from your life, this is an addiction, where you have something in your life and that may go askew, so then you replace that with something else. So if you are working 60-70 hours a week and that drops off, quite often we have the tendency to, because we can’t sit still, over achievers, over thinkers, people who want to strive for the best, can’t just sit still and be creative and think because they feel they always have to be doing something and they get stuck in this place of numbing. You know, they need to be eating this type of food and they need to be exercising and we see this a lot, chronic over exercisers because they don’t know how to fill their time, they’ve never had this time space to be creative or do things that they actually want to do because they don’t feel worthy of it. But I’m here to tell you that you are worthy of doing whatever you want, in any aspect of your life. You just need to work out the strategies to put that into place - what do you actually want to do, what do you enjoy doing? Instead of trying to numb that activity out and trying to replace all this beautiful white space where you can do things that you actually want to do, you can put things in there that you really want to do, rather than trying to numb it out and trying to work more, or do negative activities rather than achieving what you actually want to achieve. So I would say to you, instead of going from a place of numbing, try to find that place of comfort.

So if you’re looking through TV stations, looking for something to watch, you need to ask yourself ‘am numbing or is this comforting?’ There are a couple of TV shows that I really enjoy and I blocked them out of my life for three years. For three years I wouldn’t allow myself to go to the movies, I wouldn’t allow myself to watch TV shows that I loved, but I wouldn’t allow myself because if I did that then I wouldn’t get the work done, and that’s lazy. But what I’ve learned to do in the last 3 – 6 months is open myself up because that person can wait, or that situation can wait because there’s always more to do, there’s always going to be another blog to put up, another facebook post to put up, there’s more graphic designing, more websites to build, there’s always more to do. So why don’t I enjoy myself along the way. This is a great tip and a strategy for you – we can enjoy life along the way. Back in the day, when you’d hear ‘When I retire I’m going to go live on a beach . . . ‘

I have this great story about a man who comes to a village, and I’ll try to make this quick. A man, aa business man comes to this village and he sees a young fisherman sitting there in a boat, coming back in, and he’s got a couple of fish. The business man says ‘wow, you just caught six fish, how long were you out for?’ The young fisherman says ‘I was out for the morning, I love it, it’s relaxing on the water, and I caught a couple of fish, it’s a great adventure’. The business man says ‘wow, if you could catch six fish in two hours, imagine what would happen if you had two boats. Would you like that life where you could go out and strive for this greatness and have more and more and more, and get more boats and an enterprise?’ The fisherman said ‘why is that important?’ and eventually as the story goes, the business man said ‘you could have more boats’. The fisherman said ‘why is that important?’ ‘Well’ said the business man, ‘if you had more boats you could catch more fish and you could have more money’. The fisherman said ‘why do I need more money because I have enough fish, I have enough of what I need’. The business man said ‘well if you had all this, what would it mean to you?’ to which the fisherman replied ‘well it would mean I’d get to retire in a nice village and go fishing every morning and actually do what I want to do’. This is a great story because this young business man who was looking for entrepreneurial adventures everywhere, wakes up and he sees that this fisherman is doing what he actually wants to do.

So sometimes it’s not this large goal that we actually want to achieve. It’s the smaller things that we actually enjoy doing and I’m going to be talking about this more later in the week.

I want you to look into what shields you’re putting up, what are you blocking out and restricting from going out and getting in, are you foreboding joy, are you trying to stop that feeling or that expectation is the thief of opportunity, and you’re thinking ‘I can’t be happy with that because what if this happens, or what if that happens?’

So allow yourself, open yourself up and recognise that you can be happy and you can enjoy this moment. The second thing I want you do is let go of perfection because I can guarantee you, and I know this from experience, there is no perfection. Just start that business, think it through of course, start that business and take those risks, talk to that girl or that boy in the coffee shop - there is no perfect time, there is no perfect anything, we need action and to put these things into place. The third thing is, stop numbing. If you’re watching TV and you’re scrolling through endlessly and trying to find something to watch and you’re just numbing out – you know when that time is, you know when you’ve wasted time scrolling and you’re on facebook, because you’re numbing out. Whereas, if you actually allocate that time and say ‘well yes I really love that TV show, or I really love watching Hayden’s video shows’ allow yourself time, don’t feel guilty about watching my videos or watching something on YouTube or watching something on TV. There’s this whole culture right now around hustle and every single second you need to be doing something and big guys, I’m not going to name names, but big guys are saying this is the only way you’re going to be successful, do this, work hard, never stop, never give up, you need to be on all the time, work from 12am to 5am – and this used to be me, trust me, this used to be me all over, you’ve probably seen stuff on my facebook saying you need to get up at 5am and do this and do that – well I think it’s great, it agrees with me, but if that doesn’t float your boat then try something else. You don’t need to be involved, you don’t need to be hustling down in every single second of the day. Start to enjoy yourself and get healthy enjoyment out of different activities.

This video has gone much too long. Thank you for watching. If you have any questions, jump over to haydenwilson.com.au. I’m really enjoying Vulnerability Week so far – this is a big step for me, being vulnerable and opening up about a lot of these topics. I hope you’re enjoying. I’ll catch you next time.

Squashing Shame. (Starters guide to shame resilience)

In this episode I walk you through some examples and strategies that 'wholehearted' people live with.  It's not that these people do not experience trauma or are immune, but they do have a very specific strategy to deal with it and ensure it doesn't affect their entire lives. Shame is the feeling of being unworthy of love.

To build shame resilience you need 4 things: 1. Recognise the triggers 2. Recognise social expectations (be realistic) 3. Connect with others 4. Speak out (80% of shame disappears when exposed)

Shame grows when met with sympathy and disappears when met with empathy.

Help someone today and watch what happens.

Enjoy

Hayden


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYsF7QOhPII


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/squashing-shame-starters-guide-to-shame-resilience


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below

Hey guys, Hayden Wilson here for Learn Share Grow live. All this week I’m going to be talking to you about vulnerability and this is a big one that I think a lot of people struggle with, not only because they’re not allowing themselves to be vulnerable but they also don’t really know much about what it means to participate in those behaviours or some of the shame around it and the social altering contributors that stop us from doing what we want to do and ultimately being happy. This is no woo woo video or be yourself and be whole or anything like that, but I want to show you some of the stuff that’s really helped me become more vulnerable and share myself more with people and who I truly am. Hopefully, you can do that in turn and share yourself with those that you love, those that you respect and those that you trust.

The first thing I want to do is give you a bit of a definition on what shame actually is because before we can try to develop a resiliency around shame, we need to know what it actually is. Shame is the feeling that we’re not worthy, that we’re not complete and that we’re unworthy of being loved, we’re unloveable. What I want to talk to you about are the four steps we need to take to develop shame resilience so we can start to have that feeling, that wholehearted feeling that not only can we love, but we are loveable. The first thing we need to do is step expectations around ourselves. We need to know what the triggers are. You know those feelings you get when you feel those shaming feelings. You might feel angry, you might feel depressed, you might feel small, you might get what some call trauma symptoms where you might feel tingles, that gut wrenching feeling when you’re in shame, when someone shames you. A couple of huge ones, one for women is shame around beauty – there’s an expectation that they should be beautiful and it’s a sixty billion dollar a year industry – they’re counting you having those feelings; and for males it’s a feeling of weakness. I can guarantee that all males hate being called weak, it’s just inherent from generations of battering up ourselves, and I want to tell you right now, that women, you don’t have to feel that way and I’m going to go over stuff to help you realise you are beautiful and men; you’re not weak just because you exhibit certain behaviours.

The first thing is to recognise the symptoms and know when you’re in a shame spiral. The second thing is to re-set your expectations around social norms and what is expected of you. I posted quite a close subject to my heart last night about my having this expectation of myself, this expectation of perfection and that everything that I did had to be perfect and it had to be up here and it’s a huge weight off my shoulders, which I’ll talk about in points 3 & 4, but it’s a huge weight off my shoulders just to talk about it and realise that the cultural expectation was actually set by me and triggers that were on me. Everyone’s human and we all stuff up and it’s when you start to realise that you can be normal. Everyone thinks they have to be perfect – you can start to be yourself, put yourself out there, be vulnerable, and you’re going to have a much better time and it’s going to be much easier to live and be in society, to get away from those anxious and depressed feelings, just by exhibiting that behaviour.

The next thing that those people who are shame resilient exhibit is that they connect with others. I’m not talking about just everyone. You need to find focus groups and support groups or individual, trusting friends that really understand your story and can show empathy because without empathy, shame is going to grow. There’s a difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy is ‘yes I’m with you, I can tell you strategies and let’s get through this together’ whereas sympathy is “oh I feel bad for you’. This is not actually helping and sympathy actually exacerbates the problem so when someone comes to you and they’re reaching out and there is a level of trust there, don’t offer them sympathy, in fact, try to help them and offer them empathy.

Brene Brown offers a fantastic analogy and she’s helped with a lot of the material I’m talking about and that is, empathy is when you see someone struggling and just say they’re in a hole and they’re saying ‘hey, help me out’, and then you jump down – and you know your way out – you’re down there but it’s not your hole. Sympathy is when you’re looking down the hole, and this is the example Brene uses, you say ‘hey what are you doing down there?’. They might say “I stuffed up, I had a really bad experience’. Then you just say ‘damn, that it bad’. That’s sympathy, you’re saying how bad it is, but you’re not offering any help. So I want you to get involved, connect with others, just show up and be seen.

The last thing that you need to do is speak about it and I did this in my post of last night which you can go back and see on my facebook wall. You need to speak about some of the things that you’re ashamed of because what you’ll find is 80% of all that shame is going to disappear as soon as you start to talk about it with those that you trust and those that you respect. There must be that trust, respect and empathy there, otherwise it’s just going to fall on deaf ears and this is called floodlighting which we’ll talk about later in the week. But I want you to reach out and speak about some of the stuff that you’re ashamed about, whether you need to send me a message if you trust me, maybe you can find a close family member or something who you really respect and know that they can understand your story. There are also helplines if there is no-one amongst your family and friendship groups that can help with that, there are tons of services around that can really help with this kind of stuff that you can look into. But, you need to be speaking about it. This whole cultural thing about men having to be strong, you can’t be weak, you’re definitely not a man unless you keep it bottled up inside and whatnot. These are just the feelings that I’ve had – and I’ve had those feelings, trust me, but it’s when you can put yourself out there and take a look at that post that I put up or any of the other vulnerable posts that any of us share, and we get the best response when we acknowledge that we may be feeling a certain way, or we acknowledge that things didn’t go in our favour.

So exhibit to these four behaviours and you’re going to start to build up that shame resilience and feel a lot more self worth. You need to recognise that when someone is trying to shame you, it’s generally because they feel ashamed in that area. Just say someone is overweight and you’re shaming that person, maybe you need to look internally and think ‘why am I exhibiting those behaviours?’, is that helpful? – no – is that an insecurity of mine, maybe I’m not happy with my weight, but is telling someone else that they’re fat - and they’re done so much research, and Brene has done different research for 13 years on shame and shame resilience, where it comes from and what it actually does. In 13 years she’s found zero evidence that shaming someone leads to positive change which is huge because in the fitness industry we need to shame people who are overweight. To be honest I was that way, I thought you had to shame people and that would create change, and I know a ton of people who still believe that shaming people and letting them know that being fat isn’t the right way, they need to lose weight. Talking down to someone is not the right way to change someone.

This is a big thing that I’ve learnt with more of my leadership training and getting involved, reading these books and going to seminars about this kind of stuff. You need to empower people and be a leader rather than talking down to someone and saying ’you need to lose weight’. How about you help that person and say ‘I can see that you’re really struggling, you’re really trying, what really worked for me were these behaviours’. So I want you to think about that and take it on board.

If you have any questions please jump on over to haydenwilson.com.au or on facebook and leave a comment below, facebook.com/Iamhaydenwilson. Thank you for joining me for Learn Share Grow live. Any questions please let me know. I look forward to speaking with you again tomorrow for more Learn Share Grow live. Thanks.

When is it time to 'quit' a routine? (Hint: it's not quitting...it's smart)

Often times in our lives it's easy to get caught up in the routine life and think that day in day out this is how it needs to be. I know I did in my life and even cut out fruit because of the 'sugars'.  Then I realised; I'm not competing, or a bodybuilder, so why restrict one of the world's natural sugars in moderation?

So you see me live on air drinking a delicious smoothie.

So ask yourself, which routines are no longer serving me and which can I remove from my life..

Enjoy the video.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJWjlUu8zfM


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/when-is-it-time-to-quit-a-routine-hint-its-not-quittingits-smart


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hayden Wilson for Learn Share Grow live.

Today we’re talking all about routines and when you start to think it’s time to actually quit a routine. I’m going to tell you that first of all, just by recognising the fact may no longer be serving you is a big step. A lot of the stuff, you know I’m very routine driven, I love to create routines and last night I went to visit my good friend Lizzy who owns Arabica Cafe in Sydney Road. I went there and had a chat with this great woman. She’s a reader and as we got to talking - she’s very intuitive - and she looked at me and said ‘how much fruit are you eating?’ and I said to her, ‘well none, I’m trying to achieve these goals and whatnot’. She said ‘you need to eat some fruit’. Just by her saying that, it planted a seed in my head and I started to realise that I’d created this routine in my head of not eating fruit because of X and without even realising, it was affecting my happiness and my moods and my confidence, and so, as you can see, I have a watermelon, green apple and pineapple juice made freshly. These are the kind of things you need to do in your life.

I want you to look at the routines you’ve currently created and ask yourself ‘are these still serving me?’ because you’ll find that with a routine the main goal is to achieve the best outcome for you. Previously, for me the best outcome was achieving a certain body fat goal. Now it’s all about confidence and getting out there and achieving a higher level of success and if that means that I need to have a juice to be happy – I’m testing it out and seeing if that provides that reward.

Remember from earlier on, to create a habit and to create a routine you need both a cue, a reward and the routine goes in the middle. So have a look at the types of practices that you’re implementing and just because this week I’ve said a huge benefit is to create a morning routine, it doesn’t mean you need to get up at 6am, it doesn’t mean that you need to do anything that I’ve said - I want you to look at your life and discover ‘okay, this would really benefit, these specific areas are really going to benefit so I’m going to implement that advice’.

So I want to tell you right now just because you stop doing something, I stopped eating fruit because of that purpose, but now I’ve started again and I’ve broken a routine of not eating fruit. This is not quitting, it’s just realigning towards your goals. You’ll never have set goals for too long a period, in fact I think that’s dangerous. I think we need to evolve and grow into our goals and they’re always changing because once you hit them you need to set higher goals, and higher and higher and continuously go on with how many different goals you have. All of that is based around the routines that we have.

So I want you to try something new and I want you to stop doing something that’s no longer serving you. Take a good hard look at the practices and routines that you’re currently doing, really get involved and look at where can I make my life better, what is no longer serving me, and I want you to totally remove it from your life.

I’ll catch you next time. Ciao.

Let's talk Exercise and Diet Routines (how to actually stick to them)

Often we get caught up in thinking that we NEED to go to the gym.  Or we NEED to eat a certain way.  I am here to tell you that you really don't NEED to do anything.  I personally love going to the gym and performing weights.  But you might like dancing, or running, or cycling, or walking or hiking or.....insert exercise here. In addition, there is no point creating a diet that is void of all dairy and sugar if that is what you enjoy once in a while.  By avoiding something, we actually create intolerances.  Stop restricting yourself unless you truly believe in it.

Enjoy this video.

 


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Listen to the Podcast

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Full Transcription Below

Ladies and Gentleman, Hayden Wilson here for Learn Share Grow live. Today, in Routine Week we are going to be talking about exercise routines and diet routines that you’re actually going to stick to.

Growing up, I’ve been doing weight lifting, I know you can’t tell, but I’ve been doing weights for about six or seven years now and watching my diet and being careful around all the different stuff with nutrition and a healthy exercise routine. I think I’ve tried every single different diet and exercise under the sun. There’s one common theme with all of this stuff and it doesn’t matter how many different exercise routines you hear about, and want to try shiny new objects, diets, kinetic diets, the Atkins Diet – I’m going to tell you the one simple rule that applies globally and it’s going to apply to you right now – and that is, that the only exercise routine and diet routine that actually works is the one that you stick to. I’m going to say it again because it’s very important. The only diet that actually matters is the one that you stick to. I was the worst for this. I’d try something for four weeks or I’d try something for eight weeks as far as nutrition goes. I even tried intermittent fasting. I’d get into it and feels really good in the first few days – and if you don’t know what that is, you’re eating all your calories in an eight hour period of time and the other 16 hours you’re fasting. So I tried it and the first three weeks was all in, loved it, but beyond that it became a struggle.

What happens when we struggle is we waive and we find ways and our mind tells us that we shouldn’t be doing this, it’s not healthy, but you need to find something that works for you. For some people, that’s six meals a day. For other people, it’s three slightly bigger meals. For other people it might be a shake diet with two big meals included which I don’t highly recommend, but again, it needs to be a lifestyle change and a lot of the problem when choosing a diet is we do these 90 day challenges or these time bound commitments and unfortunately, what the time bound commitments do is, although it’s great for short term motivation, for lasting change we’ve found statistics that show it doesn’t last because once we get to that end goal we’re now free to do what we actually want to do.

So what we need to do, if you want to stick to something, is find a routine, find a plan that will work in with your entire lifestyle. You know the feeling when you find a new exercise routine, it’s six days a week and you’re going to do cardio in the morning and some weight lifting at night, and on the weekends you’re going to do boxing – you have all these grand plans. Three days into it you might be sitting at a level of 10 in motivation. Six days into it it’s dropped down a little bit and by the 12th day, 14th day, 30th day you find yourself struggling to get into the gym because using this is not sustainable. So you need to find a program that energises you and gets you involved, and excites you to get into the gym, or eat properly, eat healthy foods that nourish your body because you want to be more productive. A healthy body is a healthy mind – that’s going to help you make better choices, smarter choices, be a better person to be around and a better leader.

So I want you to take on board what I’ve said. Have a look at where you diet is and a big thing that I think a lot of people are struggling with is, yes society, especially western society, has moved closer towards having an active lifestyle and definitely getting into the gym. What I would say is, if gym isn’t your thing – I used to work in a gym for three and a half years and I saw a ton of unhappy people and what we found is, that if that’s not your environment that you like to exercise in and enjoy, why don’t you just get out there and go for a run, or perhaps dancing is your thing. I saw a lot of girls that sweated it out in the gym doing cardio and I would ask them ‘why do you do that if you don’t enjoy it?’ or you have a sad look on your face when you say I have to go to the gym and have an unenthusiastic attitude towards the gym. For me, I love the gym, I love going there, being healthy and going there and pumping some weights and enjoying that side of things. But if that’s not your thing, cool. What did you like when you were growing up? Did you play netball – maybe join a netball team. Did you play football – maybe go back and join the boys and play some football. It’s all about working out where you get the most enjoyment from because enjoyment provides that long term happiness with what you’re actually doing.

So don’t just focus on going to the gym because that’s what society dictates. Focus on where you find enjoyment, live a healthy lifestyle – if that means getting out there and doing high intensity sessions three days a week and smashing out what your perception is of being fit, and exercise for three days a week with 20 minute sessions, then just do that. If you enjoy being in the gym and you find that meditation and that takes an hour five times a week, then do that. You need to find something that you’re going to stick to. That’s exactly the same with diet. Don’t try to go 100%, ‘I’m going to clean eat and only eat this style of food’ if you can’t sustain that. If you can and you have unbelievably amazing willpower then terrific, but I’m telling you now we all make exceptions within our diet – all of us, no matter who you are, no matter what level you are, there’s always going to be something that we can’t be perfect at.

So I want to encourage you to find a diet that works in with your lifestyle, find an exercise program that works in with your lifestyle, put it together and create lasting change. You’re never going to have permanent change with a temporary solution.

I hope that helps. If you have any questions, please let me know, drop a comment below or jump over to haydenwilson.com.au. Thanks for watching, I’ll catch you next time.

The Power of a Nightly Routine (how to wind down for the perfect nights sleep)

In this episode I share with you 4 different strategies that will help you get the most out of your nights sleep. Sleep is becoming more and more important and if we do not achieve a good nights sleep, our productivity levels for the next day are way down.

Use the strategies within this episode to help you get more shut eye, more often.

Thanks


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG83rLDHnG8


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/the-power-of-a-nightly-routine-how-to-wind-down-for-the-perfect-nights-sleep


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below:

Ladies and Gentleman, Hayden Wilson here for Learn Share Grow live and today I’m speaking to you all about creating a nightly routine that’s not only going to help you wind down a bit better, but it’s also going to help you get that perfect night’s sleep and help you wake up energised and recharged.

 

Before I implemented my nightly routine I would wake up terribly and almost have a bad morning because I was so tired because of what I did the night before and it wasn’t productive. If you can follow some of the strategies I’m going to show you today – I’ve got four to show you – then you’ve going to find that you’re sleeping a lot better, you’re a lot more productive the next day and in turn, you’ll be a lot more positive person to be around.

 

So the first thing that I want you to implement is consistency. When you go to bed at a consistent time every single night, within a one hour block - and I understand that there are going to be times when you’ve got a wedding, an event to go to – but generally, if you can try and stick to the one hour window, if possible even smaller, say every night you might want to commit to going to bed at 9.30 or 10 o’clock and that’s your bedtime. I know it sounds strange because we’re adults, but by having this bedtime and creating that structure it sets us up, not only for our nightly routine, but when that time comes around it’s time for sleeping and our brain starts to recognise that when we go to our bedroom this is time to sleep, but it’s also going to help us the next morning so we can start to get up earlier and start to do the things that we need to do first thing in the morning. If you didn’t watch my video on morning routines, jump back to Monday’s video or just search my name and ‘morning routine’ and you’ll find a lot more about morning routines and how important they are. But in order to have a good morning routine you need to have a good nightly routine. So I want you to be consistent when you start going to bed and just start taking more notice of when you are actually going to bed and be a bit more conscious of that.

 

The second thing that you want to do is to implement different relaxation techniques. An example of this might be meditation – there are a bunch of different applications that you might like to do - so just try some breathing exercises, you can be lying down, you can be sitting, the whole idea is to wind your brain down from a big day and really take it in, realise that it’s not as bad as it seems. You can just slow everything down, and it’s going to slow your heart rate and your brain is going to start to recognise ‘okay I can calm down now and actually get to sleep’ because what we’ve found is by sleeping more you are a lot more productive. It used to be the mantra of work hard, just keep working hard and grind it out and hustle and all these things that a lot of people still claim they do, who knows if they do, but what we need to realise is that by getting your 7 or 8 hours of sleep every single night, you’re going to be a lot more productive. These relaxation techniques are going to help you get to bed earlier.

 

For example, in my room, I have an aromatherapy device that sends off steam, I put some lavender drops in there, and I set it for half an hour – it’s got a nice dull light so I set it for half an hour while I’m trying to get to sleep and it just sends this nice mist into the air, completely healthy. It allows me to know that now it’s time for sleeping and I get into that zone, it’s nice, it’s relaxing, sometimes you can put on some nice music, something relaxing – I like rain sounds, a YouTube video of rain dropping on a tin roof – you might like to try a rain forest or you might like to try birds, cicadas, all of these different things are little tips and strategies that I’ve implemented that have helped me get a better night’s sleep. So look at different relaxation techniques and you’re really going to find that you can get to sleep a lot faster and that sleep’s going to be so much more productive – I know that sounds strange – but it’s such a better, deeper sleep by using these techniques rather than going to bed all wound up, and excited and crazed and a messy mind without these.

 

The next thing that I want to share with you is that the bed is for sleeping and perhaps one other thing, but I’m not going to mention it. So you need to have your bedroom as your sanctuary. You want to remove that TV, you want to remove all the different clocks, all the electronic devices - you want to make that bedroom as minimalistic as possible. In my bedroom I have a bed, a couple of bedside tables and a bookshelf at the end. Other than that, I try to keep it as basic as possible and this removes any distractions. I’m not watching TV until I fall asleep and then waking up at 2am with the TV going, distracted and whatnot. I know that as soon as I enter that bedroom it’s time for sleeping and then I can just totally chill out. This has been a game changer for me because I used to be that person that had the TV on and thought ‘oh it’s relaxing, I need to wind down’ and that’s fine if you have a wind down process and you build TV into it or that’s your relaxation process, that’s fine, but just don’t put it in the bedroom because you need that space, you need that sanctuary to know that this is the sleep zone and a distraction free zone. So I want you to remove all the different stuff in your bedroom and just have it as your private sleeping sanctuary.

 

The last thing that I want you to do, and this sort of stems off what I just said, I want you to have no technology. A big one that a lot of people struggle with is they’ll get to bed and then fall into the trap, and I used to be the same trust me, you need to check your Instagram, you need to check your facebook, one last check of the emails, that’s not going to hurt, whatever other social media platforms or forms of connection, and all these are other people’s demands on you. You need to just remove those and understand it can wait because realistically you’re trying to get to bed, what is a facebook notification going to do for you at night time? What is an email going to do? What is an Instagram – scrolling endlessly through – you know the feeling, you’re just scrolling through and you’re wishing and the time starts passing and all of a sudden it’s been an hour or an hour and a half, two hours, and you’re just scrolling, talking to people, and how productive has that been? What this does is you start to lose track of time when that happens. Then the next morning you find that you’re tired, you’re cranky, you’re unproductive, you sleep in, you can’t help but press that snooze button because you are so tired and the body does need rest. So I want you to switch off the tech. For me I actually put my phone on aeroplane mode while I sleep because I used to get a couple of notifications and all this stuff happening on my phone and almost in anticipation I’d wake up and want to check it just in case something happened, but I just turned all that stuff off and by putting it on aeroplane mode it stops me from even checking it, it’s not even an option. If I wake up in the middle of the night I discipline myself not to take it off aeroplane mode because I know how much better of a sleep you can have when you have zero distractions in your bedroom.

 

So the four things that you need to be doing are: getting to bed at a consistent time; looking into relaxation process such as meditation and breathing exercises; the next thing is to understand that the bed is for sleeping; and the last one is to have no technology.

 

So I hope that you can implement a lot of these strategies. If you need any help, of course, just message me, private message or chuck a message down below and I’m more than happy to help you out. Thanks for watching, this has been Hayden Wilson and my website is haydenwilson.com.au. Thanks for watching. Ciao.

Owning Who You Are - Learning From mistakes and accepting they're a part of who we are to become.

The only change that is permanent comes from a place of pain or fear. In this video, I share with you some of the troubles that experience regular, every day people (i.e: me), and affect the different area's of our lives.

If you're currently working long hours, neglecting certain area's and are ready to wake up to yourself, take responsibility and own your mistakes....then this is the video for you.

Enjoy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogGtIpIdzgM


 

Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/owning-who-you-are-learning-from-mistakes-and-accepting-theyre-a-part-of-who-we-are-to-become


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Coming Soon.

Hey guys. Hayden Wilson here featuring Basil Wilson and on today’s video I want to talk to you about owning who you are.

 

I had a pretty powerful discussion with a coach today, his name is Kamahl, brilliant stuff and it really spoke to me about owning your mistakes and being who you are. I want to start off and tell you a little story. Over the last three years as you’ve probably seen, I’ve been quite busy on social media and posting business ideas and videos and content and whatnot, and it does seem I was somewhat successful. The truth is I have had some success and tasted what it’s like to achieve in certain areas of my life but other areas of my life really broke down. For example, I had a great relationship with someone that I really cared about and I let that slip. My eyes were on growth, I wanted to grow this business and I spent hours and hours, from 5am in the morning until 12am at night and neglecting this amazing person’s needs. I thought ‘I’m doing this for us. I’m doing it so we can have a better life.’ but that’s all crap. The reason I was doing it is that I was ego driven. I wanted to see extreme growth and I saw that. But the breakdown in other areas of my life and consequently losing someone who I cared about – this is a pretty personal video, but that’s one of the tough things that I’ve had to deal with along the way.

 

It might seem like that, it’s been a nice journey but I tell you what, everyone’s got their own story, I’m sure you have your own story, of areas in your life that you wish you didn’t make these certain mistakes and wish you could go back, but that’s not the reality. The reality is everything is a lesson and as long as we can learn from that then we can take away something valuable. But the truth is you need to own that mistake and know that that’s the journey that was given to you and the cards that you were dealt. Obviously we can change the outcome by changing our attitude but I want you to start to realise that people do have their own stories and there’s a perception on social media and even in life – you know, you can pretend you’re busy and got all these crazy meetings, dress nicely and have a nice car, but what’s really going on? What’s really going on underneath all of that?

 

There are a ton of other mistakes I’ve made and I hope to share a few more of them with you. I challenge you to start owning your mistakes, own who you are, open up and post something that you wouldn’t normally post or get out there and be vulnerable with someone that you really love and tell them what’s happening, what’s going on. You know, half of your life might be great, you’re really succeeding but the other half might be in shambles. Just get out there and trust me, you’ll feel a thousand times better, just recording this video, I feel better. I hope that this can somehow inspire you to start owning who you are and make a difference in your life.

 

Thanks for watching. If you want any more information, or just to have a chat, jump over to haydenwilson.com.au or just throw me a message, I’m always open to having a discussion and hearing what’s happening. So thanks for watching and I’ll catch you next time. Ciao.

How to Get Up Earlier and Have More Energy Through the Day...not less.

We are our habits. In this episode I share with you some very valuable tools and a insight into creating a morning routine that leaves you feeling energised and ready for action, instead of tired and lethargic.

If I told you that what you're about to learn is going to take you from sluggish, pressing snooze and procrastinating right from the moment you open your eyes, to energised, awake and ready to take on the world....Would you be interested?

Would you be willing to spend 6:08 of your life, which could take you to the next level?

Completely for free?

I would.

You don't want to miss this.

Enjoy.

Ps. The 21 morning habits can be found below.

Stretch Exercise Meditate Positive Affirmations Read Walk Watch the Sunrise Thinking/Brainstorming Visualisation Audio Books Drink Tea Draw Write Gratitude Journal Goal Setting Goal Reviewing Plan Your Day Yoga Hand Write a Personal Letter Review a Book Perform a Small Chore


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr3YBkUdmpo


Listen to the Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/hayden-wilson-415898380/how-to-get-up-earlier-and-have-more-energy-through-the-daynot-less


Contact Hayden:


Full Transcription Below:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hayden Wilson here for Learn Share Grow live. This is Episode 31 and all this week we are going to be talking about rituals and routines and how they can set you free.

 

Today we’re talking about morning routines in particular and I’m going to help you develop a morning routine that not only gets you get out of bed quicker and easier, because I know a lot of people struggle with that, but also create a day and a morning that you actually want to enjoy and that’s going to really benefit you in the long term and get you better results. So the first thing is why you actually need to get up earlier in the morning – it’s not only going to help with your success and your routines and rituals that you create, it’s going to make you less stressed by providing that ‘you’ time. I know that once the day gets started we often forget about the things that we really want to get done but they eventually get put on the back burner – you say you’re going to do it when you wake up but all of a sudden it’s after this point, then all of a sudden it’s after lunch or before bed and before you know it, months go past and what you want to do ends up being blown out, you don’t actually get around to doing it.

 

So I’ve developed a morning routine and I think it’s one of the most important things I’ve ever done. I wasn’t always an early riser but now I consistently get up at around 5am in the morning and you can do the same. It’s not about not being a morning person. I know that it can be changed because I was once a victim of that mentality where I thought I’m not a morning person, I need to stay up late, I’m a night owl or whatever, but the things I’m going to show you here today in how to build your morning routine are going to help you be energised throughout the day and also, not jump out of bed every morning, but have a certain enthusiasm to the morning so you can start working on you a little bit more.

 

So I’ve created a list and you’ll be able to see this on my website haydenwilson.com.au . It’s a list of 21 different things that you build into your morning routine. The main thing about a morning routine is that in the morning, hopefully no matter how much time we have, we can always have something to spare – that might be 10 minutes stretching, 10 minutes of meditation, 10 minutes of journaling and 10 minutes of exercise – whatever time you have to spare we’re going to be able to work in with that. They’re just four examples – I’m going to have 21 that you could have but what this is going to do is provide structure to your morning so you’re going to start getting up a little bit earlier. I want you to start with 5 – 10 minutes earlier and just do one of these things up here or on my website. Then what we’ll find that you’re going to have time and you’re going to really enjoy that activity and then we’re going to start to do two or three. Then I want you to commit to 30 – 60 minutes of ‘you’ time before your day gets started. This is how you create that drive to get out of bed earlier because you have a purpose to get up earlier in the morning and this is a perfect time to do things that you want to get done – no one else is up, it’s just you and your thoughts. You can really make some solid progress towards your goals, towards that new business, or start making changes in your life, whether that be how you look or how you feel. By making a morning routine and doing it this way you can really find benefit in it. So start off with 10 minutes then increase your way up and start to do the things that you keep on putting off and we can build this morning routine.

 

There are a couple of rules, I hate to be a stickler, but there are a couple of rules to get the most out of this. The first one is I want you to not even think about checking your phone first thing in the morning, it is not good for the brain and cognitive function because you’re setting the habit then that you’re in a responsive mode, you’re always responding to someone else. We want to be proactive and that’s why we’re taking that whole chunk of the morning, that half hour or hour in the morning, because this is your time, you deserve it to get the results, so don’t check your phone, and we’re not going to be checking emails either.

 

I also want you to do this alone. This isn’t really something you can do with a partner. It needs to be ‘you’ time, just you and your thoughts. So, grab a journal, they’re $3 or $4 from Coles or K-Mart or your local stationery store, and you can start to write down your thoughts, how you’re feeling, what challenges you might have, and that’s one great example of what you could build into your morning routine.

 

All this stuff has to be implemented. I want you to commit to 30 days – I know everyone out there can jump into that – 30 days is not a long time when you compare it to the actual benefit of having a morning routine is, and we’re going to chunk it into 10 blocks. The first 10 days I guarantee you it’s going to suck, it’s going to be hard and you’re going to hate me for getting out of bed this early, you’ll be thinking this is not normal, this is not natural, it’s not good for you – just push through, I really urge you to push through. The next 10 days, between days 10 and 20 will get a bit better and you’ll start to find that you’re actually getting a few things done, you’re feeling a lot clearer in the head and getting better results and in the final 20 – 30 days you’re really going to start to enjoy this routine. Then what’s going to happen beyond that, is if you take a day or two off you’ll find you don’t feel yourself because these are the things that you need to do. The more you work on yourself, the better you are as a person for other people.

 

So, work on this morning routine, push yourself – this is a personal challenge for you. Put it on social media, get it out there, tell your friends, tell your family – this is what I’m going to do, help support me, I’m going to be doing 30 days of this challenge, it’s going to really suck initially. But I guarantee you, that by the end of the 30 days, you’ll be thanking me. Use this, start to develop these great morning habits.

 

Later in the week we’re going to be talking more about routines, habits and rituals that you can use in other areas of your life. This is a great start though so thanks for watching. If you have any questions, go to haydenwilson.com.au . I’ll catch you next time.   Ciao.