Great episode where we talk about good habits versus bad habits, and I'm also going to show you how you can focus purely on those good habits to start making some positive changes in your life. Enjoy!
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Full Transcription Below:
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hayden Wilson here. How’s that for an intro?
I hope my sound is good. I’ve got a microphone on today so if you can’t hear me, please let me know.
Today we’re going to be talking all about habits. Yesterday we talked about how we can create a habit.
Today we’re going to be talking about how we can change the bad habits and start implementing better ones in their place. So basically, if you missed yesterday’s episode head over to haydenwilson.com.au/lsg and that will get you all the show notes.
Today we’re going to talk about good habits versus bad habits. I’m also going to show you how you can focus purely on the good habits and start making some positive changes in your life.
First of all, there’s good and there’s bad news, so to start with I’m going to go through the bad news. It’s always good to do the bad news first. You can’t remove a habit. Scientifically, it’s just not possible. What we can do is replace that bad habit and insert a good habit.
This happens through a golden rule. (I’ll just switch the camera here to my sweet whiteboard with my awesome handwriting.) It says the golden rule: there’s no removing the bad habits, just replacing them and the way that we do this, (if I grab my texta) is to change a routine.
To change a habit you’ve got the same cue and the same reward, so instead of having the same old routine, which would just get you the same result, we’re going to put in a new routine. So yesterday, we talked about the cue, the routine and the reward, and that was the habit loop, it goes around, and is fuelled by craving.
That’s the habit loop.
You’re going to find that when we start implementing these changes it can work for anything, whether that be OCD, alcoholism, snacking, smoking, checking emails when they go off – there’s all these different things I’m going to help you with right here today.
So let’s take the example of Alcoholics Anonymous. You’re probably aren’t familiar with all these facts, which makes it so interesting.
Alcoholics Anonymous was formed by a guy called Bill Wilson and the reason that there are 12 steps is because there are 12 apostles. It’s not based on anything scientific. He didn’t do research, he wasn’t some scientist. He’s a former drunk and just worked out how the hell to quit this habit of alcoholism and start helping other people do it as well.
It works because it’s got the same cue, the same reward but a new routine, just like we explained. What I want to show you now is an example on my whiteboard, again with my sweet graphics. So, let’s just take alcoholism, you’re got an unhappy little man here, so you’re unhappy, that’s the cue.
The routine is that he goes and drinks. And then you are going to move it down to the reward, which is a happy man. His craving for relief is all sorted. That goes around and around in an unhappy cycle. What we’re going to find if we switch this, the craving for relief can actually be changed by having a new routine, we’ve switched the routine.
The cue, he’s still an unhappy man, he changes and socialises with different people, and then he’s got the reward of being a happy little man. Switch it around, every time he gets unhappy, instead of going out and drinking like the old routine, he’s going to come here, he’s going to hang out with different people – we’re discovered that the craving for relief can be satisfied by hanging out with people, instead of drinking.
This is how we change everything.
So yesterday we explained with a new habit we need to create the craving. When we want to break old habits we’ve got to address the old craving and feed the new craving by inserting the new routine.
So, let’s look at an example.
The biggest challenge is discovering that cue and that reward. So you work out what routine you need to change to get the outcome that you desire. So, what we’re going to find is, let’s say it’s 3pm and the 3pm hits and you get that rush, and you just want to have something to eat, something sugary, a piece of cake – you’ve got the hungers, the 3pm hungers right? – we all know what that’s like. So that’s the cue, the 3pm hit, the time. We need to discover: is this hunger?, is this boredom? or maybe you’re craving some social interaction?
So you’ll find (if I switch around again) – so we’ve got the 3pm hits, the hunger, the boredom, the social. The routine that you’re exhibiting, the behaviour you’re exhibiting at 3pm is snacking. Then the reward is you’ll feel satisfied, you feel socially stimulated and the social need is gone. That’s the reward.
What we need to do is work out what can go here (circling “snacking”) that’s going to make us feel these (circling “satisfy”, “stimulated”, “social need”). What routine can we have that’s going to make us feel satisfied? So once we identify the cue - the cue is 3pm – I’m going to show you later in the week how to change and discover your cues – then we’ll work out what it is that we need to be rewarded by.
So if we work out what you’re actually desiring here. You’ve got a craving for stimulation, social stimulation. Instead of snacking at 3pm, which is a bad habit, start scheduling in at 3 o’clock that you’re going to spend 10 minutes on Facebook. Don’t get stuck in the trap, just plan it into your day, there’s nothing wrong with planning Facebook into your day. Just sit on there for 10 minutes, have a bit of a browse, have a look around, see what people are up to, maybe post a status, whatever. That’s your time that you can do whatever you want. You’ve allocated that time to yourself, don’t feel guilty and you start to incorporate that new routine with the same cue, 3 o’clock, and the same reward, you feel socially stimulated.
If you find that you can satisfy this craving of the 3 o’clock hits, instead of snacking on crap, you find that you are indeed hungry. But instead of using the routine of snacking on something sugary you can change that routine and implement a shake and some nuts or something healthy. Even that routine, that’s still a new routine.
The last thing I want to implement here for you today is that there are 2 things that are really going to supercharge your results.
The first thing is you need to believe that you can achieve it. You need to have a belief that the new routine is going to change you for the good, and we all know what’s good and bad. You know deep down that eating that donut isn’t good for you. The thing is bad habits can still produce a good reward but the routine is a bad routine.
We all know that eating shit is shit for us. So there must be belief and this is why churches work so well and all the other stuff that incorporates belief systems within them. The second thing that will supercharge it is by doing it within a group.
So that is why boot-camps work so well, why accountability works so well. If you can have an accountability partner, a mentorship program, or if you can find a bunch of people that want to get involved and have the same goals as you, put it out there, go on Facebook and say “. . . look guys, I need 4 people. I’m struggling with losing weight, let’s jump in a group and you know, put in $100 each and the first person that reaches their goal takes away the money”. That’s going to create the accountability. You’ve got the belief there. You need to know that you can lose the weight and get in that bikini body. Start putting pictures up of bikinis, or start putting pictures up of six-pack abs on your fridge if you have to. You need to believe that you can get there. Implement that and let me know how you go. If you’ve got any questions head on over to haydenwilson.com.au/lsg .
Any more questions that you want to post right now, you can do it live on the Facebook chat. Otherwise I’ll catch you all tomorrow when we’re talking about something sweet. It’s called Keystone Habits and Small Wins. So any questions, jump over in the chat, otherwise just email me or go to my website – all achievable through haydenwilson.com.au.
Let’s have another look at that whiteboard, just quickly.
For those listening, I’ve taken a screen shot and I’ll put it onto haydenwilson.com.au.
Thanks for watching guys and catch you all tomorrow.