LSG Episode 6 - Willpower: The Power of I Will, I Won't and I Want.

Welcome to a brand new week.  This week we are focusing on WILLPOWER and how you can dominate your life and take back control. In this first episode, I want to share with you what Willpower actually is, where it comes from, followed by a couple of actionable tips to help you in your life...TODAY.


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Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Week 2 of Learn Share Grow with Hayden Wilson and during this whole week we’re going to be covering off on Willpower.

I know willpower is a something a lot of people think they struggle with but I’m going to show you this week how we can start implementing different strategies.

So it’s not about ‘I don’t have the willpower’ or negative self talk, and realising that we do all have the power, we just have to embrace it.

I’m going to show you exactly how to do that this week.

The biggest thing with willpower is a lot of people do have that negative self talk and studies have found that the people who say they have the best willpower actually end up being the worst which is an interesting contrast. So I want you to start thinking ‘are you really that bad?’

The thing that we want to concentrate on here and why willpower is important is because all the studies are going to back up that you are going to increase your happiness, your health is going to come up, you’re going to have better relationships, people with increased willpower have higher savings, they’re better with stress and end up having better career progression.

So there’s a multitude of benefits for having increased willpower.

So we just need to work out how we can get up there. The no. 1 thing with willpower, the no. 1 rule is that we need to increase our self awareness. Once we can start figuring out not only how we lose control, but why we lose control, we can start to take shape and see the decisions that we make.

What most people don’t realise about willpower is that it’s not just willpower - there’s actually 3 parts to it and this has been researched and bought to the attention of the general public by Kelly Mcgonigal who I encourage you to check out.

She’s got a great book which I’m going to reference at the end of the week and also a TED talk which I’ll share the link with you. What she has discovered is it isn’t just willpower. It’s willpower, won’t power and want power.

So the willpower is - I will start to do something, I will do this. The won’t power is when you are going to stop doing some things, like I will stop smoking, or stop drinking alcohol. The want power is all about the focus. So you need all 3.

But if you look up the top (and I’ll move my camera) - not sure if you can read it, but for those listening, I’m pointing to a part that says the will and the won’t power and what we do.

The will helps you stick to the boring, difficult, stressful tasks and the won’t power holds you back from those cravings and impulses. And then you have that third element of the want power – it’s going to help you keep track of your overall goals and desires which is obviously very important to the end result.

All this is encompassed inside of what they call the pre-frontal cortex which is, if I zoom in on my camera here – if I zoom in, this is a little picture of a brain, I know, amazing graphics.

The pre-frontal cortex on the right-hand side, because this is looking straight up, is where the won’t power is held, then you’ve got the willpower on the left and the want power in the front little bit, just there. But the pre-frontal cortex is where you draw your attention to and what you think about most of the time. The reasons there can be conflicts internally when different instances pop up is what scientists call the theory of the two minds.

So if you look at the picture of the brain here, the first thing that happens when you see something is, what they call an impulse. The second thing is self control. So when it first hits and you see the donut and the impulse is ‘yes, I want that donut’, we need to start building up your self control which is the second part, and the self control which is held within the pre-frontal cortex is where you’re going to start embracing that power and realising and rediscovering your want power, why you actually want it - you want that six-pack, or you want to fit into the bikini at the end of the week, or the end of the month.

So you find that these two minds, once we have this self awareness, we can start to put in strategies to remove the conflict. The good news, and I’m going to be talking about this later in the week, the good news is that willpower is a muscle so the more that we use it, the stronger it gets, and the better the decisions that we can make.

We must get better at discovering when we have a difficult decision to make – a lot of people struggle when the crisis does actually happen, and like I said, I’m going to be covering that later in the week and we can start to use those strategies.

What I want to do now – this is going to be a quick video – but what I want to do now, is take you through a couple of ways you can immediately strengthen your willpower. The first thing though that we need to do is decide for you this week, what your actual willpower challenge will be. I need you to set one inside of your head, get familiar with it, why you’re trying to stop it, what are you trying to start and what is the overall goal.

So I want you to find those 3 different things, are you trying to quit smoking, why do you want to do it, what’s your why - it’s always important to ask.

The second thing I want you to do is discover your two minds. So I want you to have on one side, what are the rewards for, you know, having the donut, or then what are the rewards for having six-pack abs.

You need to start finding the two. Or maybe it’s that you’re trying to stop drinking so much. You need to find the benefits and start defining the kind of person you’re going to be when you only drink water for example.

The third thing I want you to do is, I want you to track every decision you make for the next 2 days.

The interesting thing about this is that when people were asked initially how many decisions they make on a day-to-day basis, and this is just with food – how many eating decisions they make during a day, most people estimated about 14.

What they found though, is that there were 227 decisions based solely on food. So this just shows how little self awareness we actually have as a species. So I need you to get a diary and write down every decision that you make over the next 2 days - I did this exercise and it helped 100 percent, and you can start to build that awareness.

The fourth thing that you can try and do and this is going to depend on your person, and this is just one little strategy we are going to cover during this week, is that a lot of people have found that they can train their willpower by practising meditation. I found an app, and I had been recommended this app by many people.  It’s called ‘calm’ and what this is going to do - you just need to spend 5 to 10 minutes on it, just get in that awareness state, focus on the breathing, you know, without sounding like a guru, just being present in the moment.

Then when a hard decision does come up and you do want to eat that, or you do want to have that drink, or you do want to procrastinate – all you need to do is practice your breathing and come back to the moment. That’s going to help calm you down and realise why you’re doing it – back to your why and your want power.

If you enjoy these videos make sure you subscribe so you get the link on when I do new ones – it’s every day at 2pm live, and then you can also check out all the show notes and check out anything else I’m doing at

If you have any questions of course chuck them here or down below in the comments (pointing blinding right now).

Thank you so much for joining me and I’m really excited about bringing you a ton of this willpower stuff,

I truly believe in how powerful willpower can be and how much it can change the person that you think you are and start embracing the person that you want to be.

So thanks for joining me and I’ll catch you next time.