The Coaching Paradox

I wanted to share some insights into some of the feelings and emotions we as coaches go through. Quite often is the thought process that happens after a client leaves/finishes with us.

Sometimes it can make us feel insecure and question ourselves, other times it can be the best thing that ever happens.

There is only ONE reason why a client finishes using your service: You are no longer offering value (in their eyes).

Today, I want to talk about the journey we as coaches go through after a client leaves without getting the anticipated result: Phase 1: Blame Phase 2: Realisation Phase 3: Owning It Phase 4: Systematising

Let's take a look:

Phase 1. Blaming the client "They should've done this. They didn't listen. They didn't do what I told them". In this phase you continually play victim and blame the client for not doing their part. Right now you are completely oblivious to the role you played in the relationship (or didn't rather) other than you 'gave them all the right tools'.

Phase 2. The first realisation that you may have been at fault too. In this crucial phase, you finally get that light bulb moment. "Actually, could I have done more?" you ask. (Great question - we will use that in phase 3). Write down exactly how you could have been at fault. What EXACTLY stopped this person from getting results in your eyes?

Phase 3. Owning those faults Now you've accepted your role, let's ask, what could you have done differently? What could you do differently next time to help REALLY get results? What deficiencies lie in OUR skillset? Own up to your role and let it be a lesson to where you need to improve.

Phase 4. Developing systems within the business to minimise this happening again. A beginner makes a mistake once, a fool let's it happen again and again. Do not let this be you. Use this 'lesson' as your education and understand exactly what needs to happen to make sure this never happens again. What can YOU do to increase the probability of your clients achieving under your guidance? What systems can be put into place?

Lastly...Wake up.

It isn't your clients job to know everything. That's why they're coming to you.

Yes, they need to do their part and do the work. But if they're struggling, it isn't to be a pain in the's because they don't see where to go next.


This is your job. This is why you get paid.

Trainers get stuck in phase one. Coaches move to phase two. Good coaches move to phase three. GREAT Business Owners complete all four phases and continually strive to be better.

To make it through to completion, you will need to take full 100% ownership and responsibility.