Man, if I had a dollar for every time I blew a story out of proportion, I would be one RICH man. And I'm guessing you would be too...
Maybe you can relate to the below?
One little thing happens and our mind starts running wild with possibilities, scenarios and consequences (all negative, of course).
The girl or boy we like doesn't reply...must be with someone else.
The customer doesn't respond to our offer...must have gone with another provider.
The boss didn't reply to my email...must not be important.
But that's just the beginning.
What happens next is all of the negative self talk that perpetuates out of control.
- "No wonder they didn't get back to me...I'm hopeless."
- "No wonder I haven't heard back, my opinion is never heard anyway."
- "If only they knew how lucky they were...! Don't need them anyway!!!"
Here is what is REALLY happening.
When we have an agenda (make a sale, get a date, land an opportunity, reach out to someone) it's often the highest thing on our priority list.
We infatuate with the idea and only see the upsides.
So much so, that in our minds we see that as the ONLY situation that will work.
The blinkers come on and we cannot see anything else.
In short, we put all of our eggs into one basket. (or in most cases, just one egg in one basket).
Then as time goes on, and we haven't heard back, our over imaginative minds begin to run a story worthy of an oscar.
And on and on the cycle goes...
So how to defeat this?
Well, quite simple really.
Have more eggs inside more baskets.
The realities are, we get these feelings because we place all of the importance on one egg, inside that one basket. If that option fails, we believe we are doomed.
When seeking opportunities, no matter what the circumstance, attempt to derive 5-10X more than you need.
Say you are launching a new program and want people to sign up. If you only had 2 leads, and both said no, how would you feel? Pretty crap I bet (I know because I've been there).
Now imagine if you had 30 leads and 2 said no. Would you be upset? Sure you want to help those people, but you could move onto the next without too much happening.
Always aim to have more options than needed.
Options provide freedom. And with Freedom, comes choice.