How to Remove Stress?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fU3iHSwTRU So what I've been able to learn through spending time with, interviewing, reading from their books and generally being exposed to different materials from some of the worlds' leading educators, and leaders, is that they all share one thing in common...

And if you're stressed in your life right now, I really believe that the strategy I'm about to share can really help alleviate some of that stress and get you into a place where you can start taking action with certainty.

So I want to draw a quick diagram here for you today, and first of all this is what happens when we are in a state of stress.  So we have a person here in the middle and it might be you. And what happens is there is a lot of confusion around our minds.

And so what we do is we go "okay I must be broken, and I need to listen to this person, and this person, and this person, and this person's got an opinion about what I should do, and my mum is telling me what I should be doing, and my second cousin is telling me what I should be doing, and an old boss, and books, and mentors and people on Facebook".

And what happens is, we get so overwhelmed with all of these different people with opinions on what we should do that we actually get to a state where our own voice and our own judgement starts to get clouded.

I remember I've been in this situation, and I love to do this because, often through your life and in your career, your business, you're going to find there are times where you lose that certainty and you to start to look at external voices and opinions to help you in your situation.

While I believe that mentorship is absolutely amazing, the problem is when we get uncertain, we start to poll everyone round us and they dont' really know what our goals are or where we want to end up, or what our individual situation is, and so they're actually offering advice about what they would do. So I want you to be very, very careful.

Now what a great leader does, is they're still able to listen and take in what other people are saying, but when they get to these states, instead of looking for outside validity, what they'll actually do, is look inwards.

What is it that's actually bothering me? And then they get super, super clear about what the thing is that's actually bothering them.

If you can get this down to one statement, I guarantee you it's going to totally reshape the level of stress, because once you define something, you will find that 50% of the worries, completely disappear from your mind.

So what I want you to do, is instead of looking at all of these different external voices and opinions that might be inside your life, from people who aren't really qualified to give you that information, is get super clear with yourself.  And so in my life, what I like to do is take my journal, and I go to a cafe and literally just write out what's actually happening, and what you'll find, is that to get to a point where you get to one single sentence, actually takes quite a while, but results will come, when you do the work.

And so for me what I've found, is by asking quality questions, and braindumping into my journal, I find the root cause of my problem, and then I start to create an action plan around it.

Because quite often what you'll find is the inner wisdom that you have, completely outweighs anything else.

You know where you're going and you know what your goals are.

You can start to look for outside information once you know that.

But when you get to the point where you don't know what's happening, and you have uncertainty, stop looking outwards and start looking at your inner wisdom.

You'll find the answers you're looking for.

Looking forward to speaking with you soon.

Let's continue the conversation here, or you can see the programs we run here.

 

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The Leadership Fallacy

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Hello friends,

It's been a short while since I've checked in with you here. I've been very busy creating a new program for personal trainers and coaches called The Coaches Growth Intensive (more on that shortly).

But today, I write to you from a quaint cafe in Melbourne, sipping my long black from a Japanese cup (the owner collects and imports them). I wanted to talk with you today about something I call the leadership fallacy.

It stems from something I picked up this week while at a course hosted by my friend, Glen Carlson (I've previously interviewed this legend here). Glen mentioned something pretty important, and now  I want to share that with you.

Glen (and business partner, Dan Priestley - who I've also interviewed) are the founders of a company called "Dent Global". Dent is a great company helping 6 and 7 figure business owners create and build great, asset rich, businesses.

They've been around for nearly 10 years and continually push the limits of what is possible for growth. They've got an impressive resume of successful clients, as well as as a huge database of helpful resources. But they aren't perfect. I know this because Glen started off our day together by admitting exactly that.

Like any business, they have things they're working on. As do I, and as do you.

Glen mentioned there is this weird thing that goes on when you're teaching people how to do something, that you, yourself must appear bulletproof. That you are flawless.

It's simply not true.

Nine times out of ten, the whole reason why we even start in the industry we're in, is because at one point, we ourselves felt broken.

We got started and picked up a few things, made some changes and people began to notice. After a little while you start seeing others in the same position you were once in and can see an opportunity to add value.

Our voids drive our values (and consequently, our behaviour). That means, whatever we see as missing, becomes our mission to discover how to fill it. It does NOT however mean that we just magically have all the answers immediately. There is a process.

Yes I am constantly working on and thinking up new ways to serve my clients. But if you think everything is perfect, then you're setting yourself an unrealistic reality.

I struggle with balancing consistent nutrition and training while growing the business. I get easily obsessed with things (product creation, new ideas), which means old ideas take a backseat. I compare myself on social media and can get lost inside a 20 minute 'spiral'.

But me (and my business) is continually a work in progress. Everyday I strive for more and am always seeking answers to my most pressing questions. As a result, as I grow, it grows with me.

The problem I see, is too many coaches (or just people in general for that matter) try to portray the perfect life. They're so busy showcasing the 'amazing' things they do and the epic life they're living, they fall deeper and deeper into their own trap. Sunsets, six packs and secluded beaches can only take you so far.

But what happens when they turn the camera around? To show you the other side of the coin? Most won't. That'd be too scary. For then people would actually see the truth...that you're not perfect (none of us are btw - hopefully you've picked up that by now).

Attempting to live the perfect life only sets you up for ultimate failure.

People connect with me (I hope) because I'm human. I make mistakes on my videos, I make spelling errors all the time (still cannot spell *definitely* without spell checker), and I waste time just like everyone does. But I'm giving it a shot. Every day I strive to make progress in the areas I most need to grow. Some days I cannot wait to be over. Others, I wish had more time so I can continue doing what I love most. There is no perfection, only progression.

We are currently in the process of planning a series of powerful videos that will showcase the real truths of entrepreneurship. Not just from myself, but mostly from the eyes of some of Australia's best and most emerging coaches. Young leaders who're out there seeking their truth, serving clients they love, and making all the mistakes any business owner makes.

Our goal is to create something so powerful (and real) you cannot, not watch it. Our first episode will be out early May - but for now, I wanted to let you know, that's it's OK not to be perfect.

I would love to hear some of your flaws, imperfections and things you're currently working on (if you've got the courage), below. Leave me a comment and let's continue the conversation.

Hayden

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The Reason Why You're Not Where You Want To Be

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There's one real key reason most aren't where they really want to be.

It's not because they don't have a great marketing strategy.

It's not because they don't have access to the right tools, network or mentors.

And it's not because they just aren't lucky.

The one factor, ultimately that determines whether someone is 'successful' or not, and it comes down to their level of hunger.

It's great to want to be a great coach, trainer or leader, but ultimately, if you don't have the ambition and drive to get out there are do it, you'll continually be frustrated at yourself.

You'll find yourself complaining: "I don't really want to do that", "Yeah but the quality of the leads was really bad", "Yeah I'll get around to it when I can".

Home truths:

1. Unless you've got $50k sitting in the bank to pay someone, you're going to have to do a bunch of stuff you don't want to do when you first get started.

2. The quality of the leads is bad because you're marketing is unclear and you haven't spent the time to get rock solid with how you communicate what it is you do to the marketplace.

3. You won't get around to it when you can because that's the speak of someone who isn't hungry for success.

There is zero judgement in this post. I am a huge believer in dragging people up, but sometimes, the process of dragging someone up, means you gotta poke the fire a little.

My hope is, that if you're sitting on the fence and asking, when will it be time to actually put effort into this thing called life? that these words inspire you to pull that trigger.

As I wrote in my first book, Why Wait To Be Great, no-one is coming to save you.

If you want to have the business and life that you wish for, start getting to work.

Most wait until they go to sleep to live their dreams, the ones with hunger, get to live them while they're awake.

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What's Your Story

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One of the strongest activities you can do inside your business, is to map out your (personal) story.

People buy from (and connect) with real people.

Every single thing that's happened to you, makes up part of who you are and what you believe.

The reason is this so important, is because with business changing so rapidly, it's seemingly harder and harder to break through in the market and reach the end customer.

You can copy all the strategies you like.

But guess what can never be copied. Your story.

You are one of a kind.

People love stories and connect with them directly.

Plus, you are PROOF that what you're telling others is possible, is actually possible.

Walking the talk (I hope...)

But it's actually only valuable if you share it.

So many coaches are scared (or just don't know about) the amazing stories they have within.

It's time to think about it seriously and harness their power.

So from here, there are a couple of ways you can do it:

1. Get out a piece of A4 paper, draw a big S and literally plot all the major points from your business and life.

2. Sign up to my daily email to be on the list to get early access to my upcoming Coaches Growth Academy (membership website) to learn step by step via clear and concise video modules on not only draw your story out, but how to use that to drive new business.

I did this very process midway through last year and was truly blown away by what I'd been through and just how many breakthrough's I'd forgotten about along my 29 (nearly 30...next month *hint hint*) trips around the sun.

Do the work, and the work will work.

Go.